• what it really means
  • by christa shive
  • 3/16/09
Let me apologize to begin with.
For my pride and my promise
For my lies and my thoughts.
Everything I want to say is lost before it comes.
I wasn’t trying to be someone else for you, and you loved me for who I was.
I’m trying to regain your full trust.
But it’s harder than it seems.
–
I can’t explain it,
but fear is not fear when I’m with you.
There’s still truth behind your lies, we just need to find it.
These little things in life seem so big now.
When all was taken away,
when I was broken,
is when I realized I had more than I knew.
but I know I do mean something to you.
All you wanted was someone to truly love you,
but yet you still search.
my love disappeared but you still kept on.
And now I mean nothing to you.
–
Maybe it’s your turn to apologize.
I was not the one at fault.
Just dream again, someone to dream with you.
no longer pushing me away, but still not drawing me in.
This is the last time I will apologize to you for your faults.
Why did I not walk away,
when i wouldn’t feel this way?
I tried, to do, everything you wanted to, only nothing came out of it.
And this pushes me away.
And the sacrifice of hiding behind the wall.
And finding ways out though everything I know.
It pushes me away.
And everyone can see these scars.
Both outside and inside.
–
I will not be ignored,
Don’t turn your back on me like you always do.
When this began I had nothing to lose.
I was confused and I locked it up in my emptiness inside.
But I do feel this pain.
And I will let go of all the pain stored up inside.