The End

I’ll be with you in the night.

I’ll be by your side in the fight.

I’ll be there to stop the screams,

and pull the needles from your vein.

___

I’ll be behind you with every step,

Ready to catch you when you fall.

I’ll take the bottle from your hand,

And return it to the shelf.

___

I’ll meet you when you crumble,

I’ll be with you when it shatters.

I’ll catch you when you stumble,

and help you to your feet.

___

I’ll throw away the pills,

and wash away the powder.

Together we’ll open the shutters,

and air out our hearts together.

___

I’ll hold your hand when you cry,

and hug you when you want to die.

I’ll smile to help you grin,

and laugh when all else fails.

___

I’ll take away your pain,

and let you be free to sing.

I don’t know what to say

I’m feeling, not so good today.

It’s not easy being me,

waking up with a broken heart

should i lie and say i’m alright?

you pick me up then you throw me down

(so sick so sick of it)

lay my emotions through the floor

and i’m so sick of it

Turn to the Breeze (Wind)

Turn to the Breeze

by christa shive

july 18-19 2009

She runs in the rain

“I don’t know where to go,

I don’t know how to stop.

I’ll lay down right here,

not hearing a sound.”

I think she’s dreaming of dying and it hasn’t been summer for years.

She turns to the breeze

and she falls to her knees,

remembering yesterday

she can’t feel a thing.

It’s been so long since she’s talked to him.

Maybe she should go call to him.

She spins around and she comes back to him.

A kiss on the lips that turns angels to sand.

A few tears to follow then there’s nothing to follow,

there she goes again.

She turns to the wind

Renee

“Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars. The stars are always there, but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Remember hope. We have hope.” -Renee Yohe

Renee says to remember the stars. I think when she says stars, she means happiness. Sometimes we loose sight of our happiness, but it’s always there. We just have to find it again.

hyprocrite

The one thing I feel hurts me most is just a simple word. But it’s a word no one should be called, especially when they are growing. A big word: hypocrite.

My reasoning behind me disliking this word is because I believe we are all changing, growing, and leaning new things about ourselves everyday. I don’t know about the extremely sheltered people, but I know that people like myself feel (and look) like completely different people from when we were 12, 13, or 14. (14, which I am still, has had such a strange impact on my life, i’ve matured so greatly during this age that i feel so much older than i did on my birthday… THANKFULLY!)

Things that I have liked or loved one year ago may be something I don’t ever want to mention again (or wear again!). I remember being 10 or 11 and promising my best friend that I would never wear dresses again because they were too prissy. Now, i don’t have enough money to buy more dresses! I used to hate PB and J, but now it’s a normal part of my diet.

I also promised I would never fall in love until I was much older and able to really understand the word… i guess that was not easy to avoid because that’s just one of the many promises i’ve made to myself that i’ve broken.

So please, don’t call someone a hypocrit just because they are changing and growing and learning new things about themselves.

Finally adding a song :]

Change the World

by Christa Shive

July 2, 2009

I’d like to tell you what I saw

In my sleeping dream I saw a wall

I stood up on the statue top

As the people floated down upon me

.

Then farther then my eyes could see

Rivers gold and cold to me

My face fell down and hit the ground

And I thought I couldn’t change a thing

..

If I could touch one lonely soul

If I could heal the world alone

To be a spark to be a light set one heart of fire

That could be all I ever wanted

All I’ll ever want

All I’ll ever need

That’s all

…

It won’t be wrong to change the world with what I got

Two hands and feet a voice to speak

My eyes have seen and ears will hear

All the changes will come to be

..

If I could touch one lonely soul

If I could heal the world alone

To be a spark to be a light set one heart of fire

That could be all I ever wanted

All I’ll ever want

All I’ll ever need

That’s all

.

I wanna make my own mistakes

It will be the chance I wanna take

If I’m right I saw you all

In my dreams long ago-o

..

If you’re broken you should know

I’m waiting here that’s all you know

I want to heal your broken soul

I’m here you’re not alone

…

If I could touch one lonely soul

If I could heal the world alone

To be a spark to be a light set one heart of fire

That could be all I ever wanted

All I’ll ever want

All I’ll ever need

That’s all

..

For Chrissy

Shine

5/22/09

To Chrissy Fitchett

My best friend who I love so dearly

Don’t ever go away

“It tears me up inside,
To see how much you cry,
I wish you saw how brave you are,
I wish you saw what life was worth.
Instead you’re hiding away,
Behind that big fake smile.

Running away from the world right now,
Wont make it any better.
There’s so much out there for you
There’s so much you might miss.
There’s still life out there to live.
If only you’d believe in yourself.
You have so much in store.

You say you’re looking for happiness.
But when it comes you run away from it.
You tell yourself you don’t deserve it.
There’s not much left anyone can do.
The rest is up to you.
you’ll never change until you love yourself.

Don’t be afraid
Don’t’ let it hide
Go out and SHINE

Live tomorrow better than you lived today,

because everything will be okay.”

“We’re all in this together”

“You know, it’s not hard to see that this is great imbalance. And that things aren’t right. You know, I know that, but for me I suppose, it really hits home when I actually stop and think about it this moment. Cuz, it’s happening right now. In the same moment you have a generation who is sitting around, entertaining themselves, watching reality TV shows, which, so be honest, is anything but real, while, you have a child who is being prostituted, and robbed of their innocents. It’s not fair that, we can go about consuming every single material object that comes our way, while the widow, or orphans are stripped of life’s basic dignities because they are victims of a conflict that simply isn’t theirs. It’s not fair that there is a generation that is choking on it’s obesity today, while at the same time there’s 30 thousand children who will die today from lack of food. It’s not fair that we can, you know, sing and dance and jump around in our freedom, and in our liberty while at the same time, the slave remains captive, out of sight, and out of mind. It’s not fair that, we can sit and watch the evening news at home in the comfort of out living rooms and pity those who, who live where the storm hit, or where the ground shook, or where the water rose, and simply feel sorry for them, and then change the channel and get on with supper. Is it fair to walk past the homeless man, and give him nothing with the assumption he will spend it on booze or cigarettes. Or that you should suggest that they go out and get a job? I mean, who are we to judge the alcoholic or the prostitute, or the addict or the criminal…

as if we are any better?

…Who are we to forget the oppressed while we go about chasing the dream? We see this imbalance and we amend “that’s not right. That’s not fair.” But little too often that’s all we do. Because for us to do anymore, is actually going to cost us something. And if that’s where it ends, perhaps then it is fair to say that when we ignore the prostituted child, then we actually lend our hand to their abuse. That when we ignore the widow and the orphan in their distress then we actually add to their pain . When we ignore the slave who remains captive, then it is us who is entrapping them. That when we forget the refugee, then it is us who is displacing them. When we choose not to help the poor and the needy, then we actually rob them. Perhaps the only fair thing to say is that when we forsake the lives of others, we actually forsake our own.”

-Hillsong United

…Brea…

…Brea…

In loving memory of Beaanna Johnson

1/9/92 – 5/12/07

by Christa Shive 5/11-13/09

.

Verse 1: She had her mother’s smile.

Her daddy’s laugh.

Her son has her eyes,

Blue as the sky

She was beautiful… oha beautiful.

She spent her remaining days, in the bed.

Her boyfriend sat, by her side.

Then she passed away.

Oh I won’t forget,

her smiling face she left that night.

.

Chorus: I still miss you.

I won’t forget you.

Do you remember the times we talked about the weather?

I prayed you would get better,

so we could walk together.

but i guess that prayer is long from answered…

till we’re together.

.

Verse 2: If dreams came true,

I’d wish for one chance, to, talk to you.

Well they don’t come true.

As we knew…

Well then you took my hand,

said i was the best friend you ever had,

i was beautiful.

I love you…

.

Bridge: I’ll see you there one day,

though the cancer took you away,

you’ll be happy anyway,

And Beaanna,

you are beauty…

.

Chorus 2: I still miss you.

When I’m standing in the dark.

I can feel you.

All the time we spent together,

All the boys we thought would matter.

They’ve faded away…

And I miss you.

Chasing the Wind

Nassiri

An old man told me a long, long time ago,
you ask questions that you already know.
The wise man walks in the light,
the fool, in the dark;
he sees only with his eyes instead of his heart.

We fight for the riches of the land,
ignore all the blessings in our hand.
We climb to the highest mountaintop,
arrive, and yes still we cannot stop.

There is nothing new under the sun;
what is to be has already been
There is nothing new under the sun,
What was before will be once again.

It’s vanity to pretend
our humanity won’t end.
The more we dream of earthly things, the more we’re chasing the wind.
It’s vanity how we thirst
for a chance to be the first.

One day we all will forget
what we said last time we met.
As time goes on what was here is gone,
because we’re only chasing the wind.